what the shit!?

So today at work was a total fucking write off. It was annoying, hilarious, and just fucking stupid mostly. It is halloween right? So we are having 2 days of parties at work. So my managing teacher has a chip on her shoulder or somehting and it sort of pissed me off today, so I was taking part in the passive aggressive olympics. If there is one thing English speaking Koreans know...it is passive aggressive. So, I am being a cock all day...just in a wrecked mood for various reasons.
So we have the first halloween party...one little girl cried for a complete 1.5 hours. Now that's energy!
The second party was what started to kill me. So we were playing games and we moved onto the face painting. So this kid goes up to my managing teacher and says "Can I have a gun?"...so sure enough she paints a gun on his face. I look at it and seriously my jaw must have dropped a metre. So after a while, I go up to my British co-teacher and say "Look at Christopher" So he does and responds "what is that? looks like he has a cock and balls on his face" I LOSE IT...just laugh my ass off! Nobody else flinches. I guess they don't know English as well as the think.

So thinks are regular after that, we go onto the third party...the middle schoolers...or shall i say the too cool for middle schoolers. So they come in and my managing teacher starts blabbing in Korean and then asks me to help. I look at her, with my co-teacher and say "what's going on? we don't understand Korean" so she explains...not 5 minutes later she is going off in Korean again explaining a game to children of are good enough to understand what she could explain in English. This time I am pissed and say "Hey, what's going on in my language?" It was validating. I embarassed her a little. So as the class goes by she tells us to do some stupid shit, to which we refuse and she bitches at us for...whatever though.....She asked us to tickle the kids...pretty sure that would make me a pedophile to tickle some 14 year old korean girls....

After the parties are over, we have presentations for project class. I am sitting there, and one my my favourite students is up there talking about her favourite song. I look up at the screen as she says her favourite song is "Love is Sweet"...but the damn slide says "Love is Sweat"....Just as I look up, the British teacher looks over, and no word of a lie, I very loudly say "oh shit" and burst out laughing...right in the middle of her presentation....and all I hear is...in a lovely British accent is "Yeah, love it sweat sometimes" I just buried my head in my hands and convulsed to hold back the laughter.

On the bright side of my day. After work, me and the Brit went to grab a coffee and when we walked in, the lady spoke English, had an espresso maker and a pamphlet with a Canadian flag as well as a copy of "The Little Prince".....I wish it was the french version, but I was happy to see it.

Lately and funny things

So, Korea has drained me this week. Week four is a skank! My visa was disconnected because there is an annual fee. Who knew? I didn't. So, I have no cash or credit until the 15th of November. This will be interesting hahaha. That is really my biggest stress right now. The kids were little bastards this week too. I will get my revenge though. It is fun all in all though. You can do some pretty cool stuff with the kids.
Now for the funny stuff. Koreans are obsessed with English, but don't ask English people if things are correct. For example....who am i kidding...i'll make a list

"Mona-risa Cosmetics"-store in Bonghwasan
"Mary Quant Jelly Baby"-Tee shirt
"Clam Love"-Tee Shirt
"I am Jesus" - Kid in Class
The book is called "There is nobody like me" In Konglish "Nobody Likes Me"
I asked a kid to sit...he said "shit?"
"Women aren't people...they're whores" - another child

That is all I can think of now. Oh. I did make to to Olympic Park. My one thing that sold me on Korea. Of course I didn't get to see the part I wanted. I will find the flag thingy if it kills me!

Bright side. I am going to see Beyonce. That will make me happy...so so so happy. I hope she does something stupid. That would make my day.

PS. I do everything wrong at work, that's ok though because the Korean teachers have to ask me to correct their homework sometimes because it is too hard. That is all for now.

Trapped in Junggye-dong

I ran out of cash. I have no subway money. You can't buy subway money with visa. All I have is visa....I am officially trapped in my neighbourhood....I guess it is an opportunity to explore. Shit!

A little realization

Today I realize just how far away from home I am. I know Asia was freakishly far from North America, but since I've been here the transition has been pretty smooth. Today when I got the news that an elderly man, who was very much a part of my upbringing had passed away I felt so horrible. The obvious reason being that he had passed, but also the inability to attend his funeral is quite upsetting. I realized today that I am not going to see anybody for a whole year. I know that doesn't seem like a long time, but it also seems like an eternity at the same time. The feeling of not seeing anybody for a year isn't one of sadness, because I know the reasons I came and Asia is fulfilling those pre-requisites, but it just feels a bit odd.

A Note of Remembrance

This entry has nothing to do with my Asian adventures, but I just want to put this in here as it is part of my life and something that has helped shape me as horrifying and sad as it was.

A year ago today a friend of mine decided to end his life. This anniversary is difficult to say the least, as is any anniversary of a tragic event. I know it may be cliche to put something in a blog about this, but today I sit here alone in remembrance and mourning and nobody here to share in it with so I share with whoever reads this blog. Today more than any other day of the year I realize that things of annoyance, inconvenience, and the small pains we feel living as humans can be frivilous and blown out of proportion in order to give our problems a feeling of worth. I remember today that there are people who have far larger problems than the small things I worry about. People who keep these problems bottled up inside for so long that the only solution felt is the drastic measure of taking ones life.

As sad as it is, from tragedy comes virtue. Virtue in learning, virture in modesty and virtue of sharing. Although problems most people have are small, they are worth sharing before they get too large. Worth sharing before you have no avenue to find escape. Virtue of perspective. Today I remember my friend, remember how happy he was when we were friends and how fortunate I am to have known him. And although he is gone, while he was alive he was able to pass on happy memories, faith in humanity and a remembrance of how people should be. Listeners, guidance givers, unconditional friends and most importantly his biggest lesson was one he never practiced, and that was sharing your feeling and thoughts because there is always somebody who can relate and somebody who cares enough about you to listen and talk things out.

I will remember you always and cherish the friendship we had.

Fireworks Festival

This past weekend was the Seoul International Fireworks Festival. I guess it is kind of a big deal. I met up with Janine at Gecko's and was suppose to meet up with a bunch of friends as well. Of course I couldn't find them, so Janine and I went out on the town alone. We had some dinner. The best Calimari I have ever had is at this place. I think I found a new dining place on the weekends. Janine and I took a cab out to whatever island the fireworks were on and on the cab ride were able to watch most of the fireworks from a bridge over the river to get to the island. I was amazed at the amount of people there. There must have been close to a million people crowded around this island and surrounding area to watch the fireworks. Once they finished Janine and I walked to 7/11 to get a street drink (this is becoming a tradition) and walked back into town. We just bummed around and ran into my friends who I hadn't seen in a very long time and decided to meet them in Hongdae. Hongdae is another university part of town. So we go, got lost, got ripped off by a cabby and finally met up with my friends at Tin Pan, a bar in Hongdae. It was packed, it felt like the Anvil on a saturday night. It was ok though. By this time, after not finding our friends, or people going home on us the night was pretty much lost and we weren't having the greatest time. We left Hongdae to go back to Itaewon to spend the night. I just wanted to go to sleep so bad! So we went to the Hamilton Hotel. Janine said there was a Jinjabang there. From what I gathered it was a hostel of sorts, but with access to hot tubs and a sauna. Was I ever wrong. It was the sauna of the hotel. 10$ to stay the night, access to the hottubs and the sauna and a sleeping room where people can just sleep on the floor. Good enough. I was tired enough to sleep on the floor. So we get there. I go into the area and there were people just sleeping on benches, floor, some people in the shower. A lot of them naked. I felt like I was going to enter another movie...this time a porno. So i just round a corner to sleep in, and after the persistant snoring kept me awake for about an hour, i went to sleep. It was really odd, just to see people walking around naked like nobody's business. I got up pretty early and came home. I'm not sure how I feel about the social scene in Seoul. I am sort of disappointed thus far. I hope more weekends to come are better. I've had fun, but it really hasn't been at all like the minute expectations I had. Next weekend I am suppose to go to a birthday party. Hopefully that will be a little more regular. I need some regularity. I'm feeling quite a bit of regret this weekend of being in Seoul.

Weekend number one

The first weekend here was one of new experiences from shopping to block parties to French speaking Koreans. Saturday afternoon Clint and I went shopping somewhere in downtown Seoul. We first went outlet shopping, nothing out of the ordinary other than being followed around like celebrities. I guess white people in pairs is quite novel here. Then we went to some market. It was like being in a carnival. Lights everywhere, packed with people, and yelling vendors we wandered around Seoul looking for good deals. I felt a little odd because nobody would even speak to me, but others were getting great service. Soon I realized it wasn't becasue I was of a different race, it was because I was of a different size. Nobody would talk to me at the stores because I was too big for their merchandise. So, if I don't bring many gifts home, don't be offended it is just because I am too fat to buy things in Korea so they won't help me.
The mall was really strange to me. There were no stores. Just a vast open area with booths of sort where shops were set up one after next in rows. There was no seperation other than clothing racks. Just like a flea market. Soon after shopping, slight dehydration and utter exhaustion of being on our feet for the past seven hours, Clint and I decide to forgoe our planned outing in Itaewon for some drinks at home. So we head off to the subway, on our way to Bonghwasan to HomePlus for some booze. We get on the subway, the last one of the night eager to just relax and have some wine. Part way home they announce the stop for Anam. Anam is a part of Seoul, known because it houses Korea University. I hear something odd though. "This stop is Anam, last stop" What? Last stop? We are still about 15 minutes from where we need to be? I look at my watch, midnight. Subway closes at midnight, but surely it will finish going the line before closing. No. At midnight, the subway closes wherever you are. Good Luck and Godspeed, now please get off our train. Fuck. So, Clint and I get off after some shooing from the train attendant and we walk into Anam wondering what the shit are we going to do? 7/11 is a good idea. Let's get a drink and sit on the subway.
On our way to 7/11 we notice a lot of red t-shirts. Korea University everywhere. Pubcrawl? not sure. So we decide to explore. We grab some hooch and make our way down the street into a dark, dank alley where we stumble upon a block party. Korea University students yelling, screaming, singing and doing cheers in the middle of the street. Since this is very different from home, we decide to cop a squat on a curb and watch the festivities. Many people walk by, of course looking at the whiteys as they pass until two of them stop. Come up and start yelling. DRUNK OFF THEIR ASSES! They shake our hands, and have seat. Ok....what's going on?
"Bonjour, comment ca va?....oh sorry sorry, English, I don't speak English well" Says a drunk Korean...So he tries to speak English and this is where I made my first mistake. I replied, out of pity of some sort "je parle un peut de francais si c'est plus facile pour toi" It was like Christmas for this man. He face lit up like somebody who just won the lottery and we start to talk. I have no idea what about really, I just went along with it. His friend just kept yelling "I don't speak English well" and falling over.
As we sit there, talking to the French Koreans, they ask us to play. Play? What the hell does this mean? My Konglish is really off. Like play in bed play? No thanks, not today haha. They were asking us to go drink with them. This night was already odd enough so we told them we had to leave. We start walking away and they grab us, ask for out phone numbers and say they will call us to drink sometime. Sure...ok...goodbye. Not that easy. The insisted on walking us to a taxi. Nice enough. So they get us a cab and they are talking something in Korean behind Clint and I who are very briskly walking toward a taxi. They grab us agian, arms around our shoulders just talking up a storm in whatever language they could form a sentence in best. Finally they get a taxi for us. The let Clint in the taxi, but blocked me off from getting in. What is going on? Are they going to take me home and make me their elf? Jesus, I want to go home. This would never happen in Canada, they would just shoot you in the street at home. I am in a panic of course, Clint in the cab and me not able to get in. So soon enough, I just sort of give him a shove and am like. I am going too! Let me in the taxi. They didn't realize we were heading for the same destination. So he lets me in the taxi, tells him where to send up and we are off. Finally. Oh wait. Look out the window....who is running outside the taxi waving like people used to wave go the Little Goddamn Hobo? Our new Korean friends...hanging heads in the taxi yelling good bye good bye! Thankfully the cabbie was like "oh shit" and sped off. Safe on our way to home plus. A few minutes later, some good ol' Reba McEntire we arrive to HomePlus to get drinks and relax. Korea is full of odd shit!

Enter Itaewon

Wednesday was Korean Independance Day essentially. I don't know what they called it, I didn't really care to learn. It was a day off, so that meant Tuesday night I would go out. Clint packed me up, and took me to Itaewon. Itaewon is a safe zone for foreigners. It is a place where whiteys can go and see other whiteys. There is some sense of multi-culturalism in Itaewon. It is a little slice of home. Mind you, a slice of home that has been dropped on the floor and stomped on, but homey nonetheless.
First stop with Clint, Ashley, Maggie, and Daniel was Wolfhound. An Irish pub in the middle of Seoul. Decent place, good food and great company. After we ate we Ashley and Maggie departed and Clint, Daniel, Joe and I were on the town. We wandered over to Bungalo. This is the coolest bar I have ever seen. You walk up a few flights of stairs and on each landing there are hot tubs. The whole place sort of looks like a rainforest jungle with plants and vines and lights....a little more like a spa than a bar. On the top floor, is the main area of the bar. I walk in and am told that I have to take my shoes off. What the hell? Shoes off? That seems gross...but open mindedly I take my shoes off and put them in a bag and carry them along. Once I get further into the bar I realize that the bar is a sandbox and the seats are swings to sit in. It was like sitting on a tropical beach of sorts. The drinks were amazing and so we stayed there for a while. After we decided that this place was getting a little boring we went on wandering to see what else we could find. We ended up at another bar.
The owner was in love with white people. He gave drinks and was very forward to say the least. I think the most interesting thing that was said was "I like mash potatoes. You like rice cakes?" Take that as you will. After that we moved along, drank in the street a bit. Best thing about Korea is the ability to go into a convenience store, but booze and just drink in the street. After some wandering, some mandu (best food on earth) it was time to go home.
I get in a cab and like the trip here was warped into another movie: The Fast and the Furious". THIS GUY WAS INSANE! Driving through Seoul, going seriously 120 most of the way...I am doing all I can not to shit my pants, the trip seems to be taking forever so after frantically checking my map i manage to ask him if we are going to the right place. He sort of grunted and noded and in about 5 minutes after that I arrive at the closest subway station. 5:00am and still a 20 minute walk home. The taxi was pretty cheap though. About a 40 minute ride for 17$.
On my way home, I get a call from Daniel, he had locked himself out of his place. I invited him to come stay with me for the night as it was 5:00 am. He was still in Itaewon. So I waited at the subway station for 35 minutes and finall Daniel arrived, and I got home at 6:00 am. What a day! Work at noon the next day....Oh Korea

Work

After arriving in Korea on Sunday night I had to work Monday night. Thanks for the sleep Korea. I really appreciated it. The previous night was a late one because after the excitement of seeing friends I had missed for a couple years I had my energy back. Monday at 5:00 pm. I go to work. BR English Jr. School. Soon to be mentally renamed Korea Hippy Haven. The idea behind the school is brain respiration. Proper energy to your brain for optimum learning of English. I learned exercise and medidation. At least I would be forced to exercise four times a day.
My co-teachers seemed nice, apprehensive and I was tired as shit and didn't really care. Work is work, and it will work out, and beside, there was a holiday on Wednesday anyway. I could sleep then.

The Trip

I decided to come to Korea about 2 years ago. Obsticle after obsticle, I finally was able to apply, get a job, and come. The whole process took way too long. I for screwed over by my recruiter, visa applications, and all the beaurocratic crap one needs to go to leave the country, it took me about four months to get everything set up to come to Korea.
I left Halifax, Nova Scotia on September 29th for Korea. The farewell was tearful and already full of regret. It felt like somebody had taken all the energy that I had stored up saying that this move was a good one and shook it like a snowglobe to make me feel like a fuck. I didn't want to get on that plane in the last minutes before boarding. I wanted to run back into the loading area and just stay home, be safe, in familiarity.
After I went through customs I ran into my ministers wife. Oddly enough, she was going to the United States as well that morning and I was able to talk to her. That was a life saver. She was able to boost my morale and things were fine. I also met a danish chick who calmed me down. I was a mess...fear was written all over my face. I finally got on the plane.
The first place scared me shittless. It was the smallest crap of a plane they could have sent me to New York in, and better yet it was names after a clothing company. American Eagle should not be an airline name....they are pants. I get to New York, anticipating my hour lay over. I get lost of course. Finally I make it to my gate and wait to board the second plane; a whopping 14 hour flight from New York to Incheon Korea.
I board the plane and I am one of maybe 12 white people on the plane. I am sandwiched against the window in a Korean airplane...Koreans are small people. I was like the Jolly Green Giant jammed into a smart car. Needless to say it was uncomfortable. So I sat there, knowing that I was beyond the point of return. Sitting to the most fowl breathed woman I have ever met, and nobody able to speak to me, and me not able to speak to anybody. So I sat in silence for 14 hours. A lot of thought went through my head that's for sure. Many of those I don't remember, but many of those that made me feel one of the deepest feelings of sadness and fear that I have ever felt.
The flight was pretty regular. I got to see the Hudson Bay, the Artic, China, Russia, and Korea all from 30 thousand feet. It was pretty amazing. Flying over the Artic was the most amazing thing I could ever imagine. It looked like what some describe as heaven. Just an eternity of bright light and the purest white I have ever seen. Javex should take a lesson on white from that business. Once in Incheon, I tried to stand to get off the plane. That was hard. My ass was so numb from sitting that I could barely walk. I managed though to get my luggage and meet up with my taxi driver for the hour and a half drive to my school. I don't remember much of that drive. I was so exhausted from not sleeping for about three days that I was hurled into a state of surrealism and everything felt like I was watching a Hugh Grant movie. I made it to the school, met with some teachers from my school who took me out for dinner and showed me where I lived. Finding my apartment was hilarious. Nobody knew where i was suppose to live. they knew it was the 6th floor. After walking in on some poor guy just chillin in his underwear and wandering around looking for my place we found it. It is small, quaint, and something that i will be able to make livable.
I was in Korea. A half a world away from where I belonged, but for some reason after all the fear and problems it felt right. I was welcomed by some friends and very soon, Korea felt like it would be a good year and experience.